REFLECTIONS OF MIDDLE-AGED MAN
Reflections Of A Middle-Aged Man Introduction
I think it would be fair to say that we all have a tendency to take somethings personally. It’s just that some of us have more tendency than others. And, when this happens, some of us are better at dealing with ourselves than others.
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It is never healthy to take things personally in any relationship ie, employer-employee, friend-friend, husband-wife, partner-partner, parent, a child for a number of reasons. One of the main reasons is that, if you take things personally, your feelings will be constantly at the mercy of others – whether they have personally attacked you or not. It is never healthy in a relationship, and it is no way to live!
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If you are someone who asks to take the things that people say or do personally, I want to share with you a little trick that I have found that really helps. It involves understanding why people sometimes do what they do and see that often what they do has nothing to do with us and therefore, there is no need to take it personally. Through 2 relationship principles this trick I will share.
Relationship Principle 1:
People are sometimes selfish. This theory may sound creepy but is with me.I think it is an undisputed fact that we all have a selfish tendency. Among us, some are more selfish than others. And some of us can be selfish given the right circumstances. By understanding and accepting that people are sometimes selfish, we understand that sometimes people:
– What is best for them to think in such terms,
– Will things from his perspective only see,
– would like everything to be right about,
– Want to talk in your own way all the time,
– will not think about how they affect others,
– and so on.
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As a result, sometimes people will do what they do simply because they are motivated by selfishness! And if they are motivated by selfishness, then there is no reason why we should personally take the things they do and say because their actions had nothing to do with us. In fact, you can say that their actions have shown you how selfish they are. For example, if someone bites you while driving, do not take it personally. The person who biting me just shows how is selfish you tell yourself. Nothing is personal.
Relationship Principle 2:
People for doing what they do, have always proper reason. This theory is what I learned about people some time ago. This theory does not mean that people always do what they do. The people should not be always excused for their works. Why they did and what did they always not know. But there is always a reason! Here are some reasons I can think of that people can do what they do sometimes (maybe you can think of others):
– Last unmet needs,
– Current needs,
– Present wants,
– Previous unresolved issues or conflicts,
– Previous pain,
– Present fear,
– Current hang up,
– ulterior motives or hidden agendas,
– Present insecurity,
– Previous decisions,
– Personality disorders such as alcoholic tendency, ADD, ADHD, lack of empathy. . .
– and so on.
As a result, sometimes people will do what they do just because they are inspired by who they are and the “stuff” they carry! And if they are motivated by such things, then there is no reason that we should personally take the things that they do and say. In fact, you can say that their actions have shown you that they behave as they do because they have “issues”. There is nothing my personal so nothing to do again with us.
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For example, I know a 12-year-old boy who once said “I love you” to his stepmother, which only had to be answered “Yes, well, you have a fun way to show it! ” it is not necessary to say assuming that the boy was deeply hurt by the answer. The way to help the boy is to help him understand that, even though the stepmother’s comment may sound like a personal attack on her, the answer really shows who the stepmother is as a person and that There was nothing personal.
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Finally, the trick for people to say and not do it personally is to understand and accept that sometimes people are selfish and / or have “issues”, and their behavior often has something to do with us. – Does not happen. You may say about their behavior betrays what type of man they are after you turned the goods. This will help you move the focus from you (which is partly why you take things personally) and place it on them (which will help you not to take things personally).
There is a tendency to take something personally it is very fair to say. It’s just that some of us have more tendency than others. And, when this happens, some of us are better at dealing with ourselves than others. To take any things personally from a relationship like friends-friends, partner-partner, employee-employee, husband-wife, and child will be never healthy relations.. . . for a number of reasons. One of the main reasons is that if you talk…